Sourire Faux
by opalshyne
Summary: Kagome is lost in the world, she has no reward after defeating Naraku and completing the Jewel. She and Inuyasha are falling farther and farther apart, she looks to one person to save her from the emptiness she fears.
1. Chapter 1

_The wind blew her hair wildly around her as she stared at them, dust whirling around their feet, her eyes were wide as low growls floated through the air. Her heart felt still and her eyes were not willing to close, her legs tingled and felt planted to the earth. Inuyasha's attack flew ahead, toward the still form across from her, her heart fluttered to life, it missed, the thumping quieted and she continued to stare._"_I-Inuyasha!" she was silent again as he looked at her, the reason she called to him, lost in the panic and lethargy, "oh…never mind."He cussed and turned away, facing his opponent once more, she shivered as a cool breeze caressed her body, much like the whisper of a lover. An attack hurdled toward Inuyasha; her heart sped up, before slowing down, almost happily, when Inuyasha was thrown to the ground.Words flew around, she didn't understand them, and then he left, leaving her and her hanyou alone, she continued to stand there, awkward silence between them, "Kagome…?"_

_Tears filled her eyes and she turned away, a little ashamed._

_**Sourire Faux**_

**Chapter One**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

**Sourire Faux- In French, "Fake Smile"**

--

She sat around the fire, everyone was laughing, listening to an immature anecdote Inuyasha was telling, she forced a laugh when everyone else laughed…but her mind was elsewhere, she was thinking about marriage and regret. Inuyasha draped his arm across her shoulders and she smiled widely as he nuzzled her gently, he kissed her cheek before returning to his story. Her smile faded and her eyes wandered to the shadows of the forest and she wondered about her relationship, and where she was in her life.

--

Kagome settled into the hot water of the osen and didn't see Sango looking at her, "Kagome? You seem very down lately, are you alright?"

Kagome looked up, as though she hadn't expected Sango to speak to her, "What? Oh, no, I'm fine, really," she forced a smile that Sango didn't believe, but she shrugged it off.

They bathed in silence until Kagome felt overwhelmed enough to look to her friend for help, "So…Sango," tears choked her voice, "um, have you ever felt like maybe Miroku wasn't…right anymore?"

Sango looked at her blankly, "What do you mean?"

Kagome's voice shook, "Like maybe, you made a mistake, and went too fast and now you don't know who it is you've fallen in love with."

Sango smiled, "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure it's just cold feet, I felt this way before I got married to Miroku, I'm sure you're just nervous because of the wedding, once you're married, you'll be fine."

Kagome smiled at her friend, as though she had helped her, "Thanks…Sango."

"No problem."

Kagome sat in the warm water for a few more minutes, letting a few tears go before she got out and headed back to camp.

Inuyasha and Miroku were talking in whispers as Sango started a fire and Shippou snoozed curled up with Kirara. Kagome sat down and began to rummage through her bag, looking for a hairbrush, she noticed Inuyasha casting furtive looks her way before he stood up, "I'm goin' for a walk."

Kagome clenched her jaw and kept looking down, pretending she didn't know.

When he left, the camp fell into a full silence and she knew everyone was looking at her, she knew what they were thinking, but she smiled and tried not to cry.

--

She had grown up with him in a way, with him she had discovered and experienced so many things, but _they_ had not grown, in a way they had, they were getting married, but he still couldn't forget about _her_. She knew that every time he goes for a walk, every time he bolts without saying a word, it's _her_. She knew that when they first met, she would have chewed him out, he would have apologized and seemed remorseful. But now she's tired, she's been through trouble with him, been through a lot with him, and she stopped trying, after a while, she lost her will.

--

Kagome was silent as Inuyasha's hands roamed her body, she was backed against a tree, he groaned as she moved to button her shirt, she didn't want to fight, so she let him continue to roughly squeeze her breasts. Her throat felt swollen and she knew that after he kissed her sweetly on the cheek and buttoned her shirt for her, after he led her back to camp, and after they all fell asleep, she would cry, because she knew she had made a mistake, but she was so tired of being alone, and watching everyone else get married and be in love, be so happy. She wanted to be like them, so she would keep her mouth shut and marry him.

--

Kagome walked along the dirt road beside Inuyasha, like she had done for the past six years, Naraku was gone, but still she stayed. They still fought rampaging demons, so there was still some purpose in this. After six years she didn't get tired so easily and her feet didn't hurt so badly. She fought much better and she didn't let anybody rescue her in battle. Every once in a while Kouga would show up, but Inuyasha didn't care so much anymore, Kouga had married Ayame three years ago and they had two young pups. Sometimes Kagome's heart would ache when she would see Kouga and Ayame looking at each other with such great passion and love in their eyes. She wanted that so much. Inuyasha stopped in his tracks and sniffed the air, his posture becoming rigid; he put a hand on the hilt of his sword and Kagome grabbed an arrow and her bow from her back, readying for a fight. Behind her Sango and Miroku both held their weapons readied. Inuyasha drew his sword and Kagome raised her bow and pulled back on the arrow, ready to release. Inuyasha looked up into the sky and growled as an orb of light approached them, Kagome's grip on her bow grew lax and she lowered the weapon.

"Sesshoumaru! Why are you here?"

"I have come to ask the assistance of the women in your group."

Kagome heard Miroku say something and then the slap that followed, but she wasn't really listening.

Inuyasha scoffed and looked at his brother, "As if _you_ would ever need any help from the _human_ women."

"Do not make assumptions little brother, when you do not know the reasoning behind my request," Inuyasha was silent, embarrassed, "Rin is ill, and none of the sorceresses I have brought in have helped her. She is a human and needs human treatment."

"Of course we'll help you; if Rin is sick then we can't turn you down!"

Inuyasha looked at Kagome and scowled; she turned away from him and looked at Sango who nodded her head, "I agree with Kagome, we can't just say no if she is so sick that you would come to us."

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, "Fine, but I'm coming with you, you ain't gonna be alone with that bastard."

Miroku spoke up, "I am going to, I wouldn't want my dear Sango to have to go to bed alone, I fear she may cry."

--

She had to speak up first, he was her last resort, and he might be able to save her.

--

Kagome sat next to the young girl and frowned, "She has a very bad fever and an irregular pulse. Has she said anything about the way she feels?"

Sesshoumaru stood at the opposite end of the room and looked at her, "She told me she was tired."

"Ah…" the statement was no help but she grabbed her yellow backpack and pulled out a thick book, a gift from her mother, she flipped through the book stopping at various pages to read a few lines before turning the page.

"Well, I have some Aspirin in here, that should help with her fever… but until she comes to enough to speak I won't be able determine what else she would need."

He remained silent and walked out of the room. Kagome looked at the girl, opened a small bottle and tapped out two small pills.

--

Kagome laid next to Inuyasha, in a dimly lit room in Sesshoumaru's home, and ran a hand through his hair, "Inuyasha?"

He answered without opening his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Do you ever think that maybe…life could be more?"

He was silent, kept his eyes closed, "Inuyasha?"

"You mean like, be wealthier?"

Kagome withdrew her hand and laid on her back, "Yeah."

--

Sun bathed the pale skin of the child, "Her fever's broke, but until I can speak to her, I can't do much else but keep the fever at bay."

They had been taking care of the ill Rin for three days; Inuyasha wouldn't talk to Kagome besides to ask for something. Sango touched Kagome's shoulder, "Kagome, you should go take a break; you've been by her side for so long."

Kagome looked at Sango with wide eyes, "I'm not tired."

"But you need a break, besides, I feel so useless just sitting here, let me do some of the work for a while, if I need you I'll find you."

Kagome submitted and smiled at her friend, "I guess you're right," she stood and walked out of the room after stretching and thanking Sango once more.

She walked outside and sat on a small bench, enjoying the breeze and letting herself relax. She felt the presence of another person and opened her eyes to see Inuyasha staring at her, "Hey listen, Kagome, I've been thinking and I don't think Sesshoumaru means any harm, so I'm gonna go."

She stared at him for a minute, letting the wind give her body chills, "Oh, yeah, of course."

He grinned at her and walked away, "It's only natural…you need to go."

--

Sesshoumaru stood next to her as she sat beside Rin, "You know why he left, he left to see Kikyou."

Kagome cringed at the bluntness of the words, "Yes."

They were silent at the words and Kagome continued to wipe Rin's face, "Her fever hasn't come-"

"Why do you stay?"

Kagome didn't answer for a long time, she hated the question, in a way she hated him for asking it.

"Because, I don't have any other option."

He left her after that, she felt her body shaking as she fought the tears that would overtake her.

--

Rin sat up and drank the tea Kagome offered, after a week and a half, the girl was well enough for Kagome, Miroku and Sango to find Inuyasha and return to their travels.

"How are you feeling Rin?"

"Rin is feeling much better now."

Kagome smiled and brushed a strand of hair from the girl's face.

"Thank-you very much for taking care of me Kagome."

Kagome smiled again and grasped Rin's hand, "You don't need to thank me," she embraced the girl warmly and kissed the top of her head. She stood up and walked out of the room.

She met Sango and Miroku outside the expansive home of Sesshoumaru; she turned to the youkai and smiled warmly, "Thank you very much for your hospitality, everyone was very kind. Rin should be up and running around by tomorrow."

Sesshoumaru remained silent, "Feel free to come to us should you need our help again."

He looked into her eyes, and they understood, he understood. It made her so happy.

--

Inuyasha looked through her as they sat around the fire, "Inuyasha?"

"What?"

"Maybe we should postpone the wedding."

His eyes came into focus, "Really," he sounded too eager.

"Well, yeah, I mean, we should wait until we get back to Kaede's village. You know, until we can be in a place where we know people, and where we have a place to stay for a while after the wedding."

"Yeah, good idea," he didn't see her anymore after that.

--

Kagome sat beside Sango and laughed as the kind villagers danced and celebrated the defeat of the demon that had terrorized the village for so long, she clapped her hands to the music and laughed as a young boy asked her to dance, she accepted and moved her body to the beating drums and the sound of the samisen played by the elderly woman, smiling as she watched everyone enjoy her music. The young boy smiled sweetly at her and she smiled back, glad to be truly happy, she laughed as the boy spun her around. That is what she wanted, she wanted to be spun around and smiled at sweetly, she wanted to be asked to dance.

--

Inuyasha stared at Kagome, "I heard Sango talking to Miroku about the celebration."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she told Miroku you danced with some guy."

"Oh, that? Inuyasha it's nothing to worry about, we were just having fun, just dancing."

"I don't want you dancing with anyone but me, Kagome, we're getting married and you're out dancing with other men!"

"Inuyasha, it was nothing, he was just a kid!"

"Kid my ass, Kagome if you aren't going to be faithful to me-"

"Faithful too you! How dare you say that to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You think I don't know what's going on," she sat down and held her head in her hands, "I know you're still seeing her, I know it's her you're always going to see."

He continued to stand as he spoke, "You mean Kikyou… Kagome, I told you she's nothing to me, and I choose you Kagome."

"Kagome looked up to him with tears in her eyes, "Really?"

He knelt down, "Of course, I want to marry _you_, not Kikyou."

Kagome smiled and kissed him, she chose to ignore the white hair ribbon he kept tied around his wrist.

--

Kagome and Inuyasha walked hand in hand out of the village, she smiled and waved goodbye to the villagers as they saw the demon fighters off. "Hey, Inuyasha, what do you say we stop by to say hello to Kouga and Ayame, their mountain is pretty close to here."

"Yeah sure."

"Great!"

Kagome walked the dusty trail and hummed a little tune to herself, she wouldn't be sad when she saw Kouga and Ayame anymore, she was sure.

--

Kouga grinned and looked at Kagome slyly, "Ya just couldn't stay away could ya?"

Ayame punched him in the shoulder and Kagome laughed before she hugged her friend, "How have you two been, it's been so long since I've seen you guys?"

"We've been great, Kouga is teaching the boys how hunt, they're doing very well."

"Oh, that's good to hear."

Inuyasha was leaning up against the wall of the cave, sulking, "Inuyasha, come over here!"

"Why should I?"

Kagome's smile faltered, "Well, don't you wanna know how things have been?"

"No."

Her smile faded into nothing, "Oh, okay then," she turned to Ayame and smiled, "So how's it been with the boys?"

"All three of them? Hectic."

Kagome laughed and Sango joined them as they walked off.

--

Kagome sat at the edge of the overlook, watching the stars; she smiled when Kouga came to join her, "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head and smiled, "No, Inuyasha is mad at me, I'm trying to avoid him until he cools off."

Kouga looked at her, concern in his eyes, "He should treat you better."

Kagome closed her eyes and sighed, "Kouga, please don't do this again."

"Kagome, every time you come here it's after something has happened between you and Inuyasha, you deserve better."

"Kouga, please," her pleading voice echoed in the air, "don't do this now. I've made it right, for a while, please just let me be."

"Kagome, you've been doing this with him for six years too long, you need someone who will be good to you, someone who will be faithful."

Kagome's voice shook, "Kouga, I love him, he told me, he _told_ me he wasn't seeing her anymore."

"Kagome you know better!"

"Stop it! I don't want to hear this…I can make this all better, I've done it before," she stood up and walked back inside the cave, lying down next to Inuyasha she kissed him on the cheek and prayed that she could make it through.

--

Kagome stared at the rippling water and thought about Kouga's words, she knew, deep down in her heart, he was right. She deserved better, she wanted better, she wanted _him_.

Kagome shivered in the cold air and scooted closer to the fire, the wedding was three months away, and soon everything would be settled and dealt with. She brushed the hair out of her face and grimaced. Due to the cold weather she hadn't been able to bathe in a week, "Ugh, that's it, I'm taking a bath, I don't care if you people say I'm gonna get sick, I hate being so filthy!"

Sango looked at Kagome, "You're gonna freeze, but if you insist."

"I do," Kagome grabbed her yellow bag and marched off in the direction she had seen a small, secluded lake before finding a place to camp. She undressed quickly and crept into the water, shivering violently as she gripped a washcloth and the last bottle of shampoo she had. She bathed quickly before getting out and dressing in her warmest clothes. She had stopped wearing her school clothes and began wearing more practical clothing a few years ago; it did tend to make things a bit easier if she dressed in more common clothes.

She sat on the ground and brushed her hair out. She sighed and rummaged through her bag for something that might take up more of her time, maybe something that could keep her from going back so quickly.

--

Shippou stood on Inuyasha's shoulders, pulling at his ears and banging his tiny fists on top of Inuyasha's heads. Inuyasha cursed and swiped the little demon away, "Shut up, it's not like that!"

"Like what," Kagome asked.

Shippou turned towards Kagome, "Inuyasha is leaving to go see Kikyou!"

Kagome looked quickly down and then back up at the rest of the group, "Inuyasha?"

"No! I'm not!"

Kagome was silent as she looked at her future husband, she turned her head away as she spoke, "…Okay, I believe you," she said it quietly, more to herself than to anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

_I will have a secret too, if he can have one, have his wish, then I will have one too. I am not going to be alone any longer, let him have Kikyou; I want something, someone more._

_**Sourire Faux**_

**Chapter Two**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

**Sourire Faux- In French, "Fake Smile"**

--

Kagome walked next to Inuyasha, he was ignoring her again, but it didn't bother her so much anymore, she had hit a turning point the day she once again asked to postpone the wedding. He agreed, enthusiastically. They walked silently through the woods following rumors of a demon terrorizing a small village. Kagome stopped walking to fall behind him a bit; it hurt her to see him when she knew he didn't see her.

--

Kagome and Sango stood side by side while Inuyasha and Miroku took care of the minor demon.

Kagome watched him and remembered how it was in the beginning, she knew she charmed him, and he knew he charmed her. Everything was great, a wonderful romance. But everything was getting old now; even the faith in marriage fixing it was fading. She knew nothing would change and she would be stuck, alone. Now she only looked forward to one thing, the predictable meetings of Inuyasha's older brother.

--

Inuyasha laughed at him and Kagome raised her eyebrow as he didn't react but simply stared at her like he knew her very well. She shivered.

"Inuyasha, I would spend less time tracking down demons and memories and more time pleasing your woman."

Kagome froze at the out of place statement.

Inuyasha turned to look at Kagome, she looked away.

She heard Sesshoumaru laugh as he walked gracefully away.

Kagome felt naked, exposed, and ashamed.

--

Inuyasha covered her body with his and shakily thrust into her a few more times before awkwardly pulling out. She was left unsatisfied and felt more broken than before. He sat up and looked down at her, a look on his face like he felt she was second best, like _he_ was unsatisfied.

She felt angry then and got up to go and bathe, try and get his scent off her, she didn't want to be his anymore.

--

Kagome walked next to him, her place now, regardless of her feelings. She felt abandoned now, no one stopped it, and no one prevented it when she couldn't. They were married, he hadn't made her his mate, his true love, she knew who that was and she was surprisingly jealous.

It made her hurt so deeply and she didn't understand, she wanted a true love she wanted to have a mate, be a mate. Maybe she wouldn't feel so lonely and regretful. She stopped in her tracks as she felt a strong demonic presence, "Inuyasha…"

He turned to her quickly, "What?"

"I have to go."

"…..Why? Where?"

"I am sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, I gotta go, I'll be back."

"Uh…"

"Bye."

--

Kagome walked through the woods, she stared at the sun spotted ground beneath her feet, her nerves causing her to shake and and rethink her current actions. She stumbled across him unexpectedly, she had no idea he had been so close, "Oh!"

He smiled slowly, "Oh? Is that all you have to say to me, I must say that I rather feel I shouldn't have shown you my presence."

Kagome blinked a few times, unable to quite understand his words, "Oh, no! I was just surprised you were so close!" She felt fifteen again, stuttering and stumbling along her words, unsure of the proper respectful thing to say to him.

He stood and she gasped, "I know you want _me_ to be the chivalrous demon and rescue you from your loneliness, spend a heated night or two with you, " at this she blushed, "but I am here to tell you I would do no such thing."

She sighed and he was behind her, so close she could feel his fast heartbeat, she gasped as she felt his hand on her shoulder, "But, I am weak for unsatisfied young human girls."

She gasped again, "That's what you are right, an unsatisfied, young, human…" he looked her up and down, "…_girl._"

The way he said _girl_ sent shivers up her spine and she tried to step away but he wrapped a silk covered arm around her, "Oh, no, you won't be getting away from me, I know too much about your insides, about how your little heart ticks worriedly and emptily away. I know that he did not make you his mate and how that hurts you most of all," the quiet words echoed in her mind, "and how you fear being alone and that is why you put up with his…shortcomings."

She twisted quickly out of his grasp, "Yes!" She took two steps back from him and stood with tears rolling down her cheeks and she watched his face, how it said he wanted to take every last strand of purity she had within her but also how he understood her. She trembled and he watched her, his face blank now.

"I have to go."

He didn't say anything as she turned her back on him and walked back to Inuyasha.

--

The group was in a clearing, cooking and talking, Inuyasha was gone. Kagome sat next to Sango and continued to watch the part of the forest where he had disappeared an hour ago. She felt heartbroken, but what was she going to do? Divorce him; she almost made _herself_ laugh at that.

--

Kagome one again found herself mindlessly walking beside him while she knew his thoughts were on Kikyou as he watched the woods as he walked alongside them.

"Inuyasha?"

"Yeah?" He didn't even look at her as he responded.

She opened her mouth to ask him a question, anything to get him to look at her, "Are you, uuuuh, objected to having….uuuh, a child?"

His head jerked around to look at her, "Are you pregnant too?"

"No…I was just wondering." Her voice was quiet, a whisper as she replayed his previous sentence in her head. The group was silent and Kagome kept her head down, they all heard what he said, "Too?" she turned around, "Sango?"

"No, I'm not!"

"Inuyasha, what do you mean _too_?"

He swallowed and his face got red before he turned away and began walking. That was her key to shut up; besides, she already knew who was pregnant.

--

Kagome walked along the small dirt road she was by herself, and grateful, her heart ached, she was alone, and _she_ was pregnant …she felt emptier than ever before. She heard Sango calling her name but 

she didn't answer, she wanted to be alone now, she saw the sealed well and went to sit on its rim she sat a long time just watching the world before she tried to go through, it was useless and she landed harshly on her butt, she felt her throat get tight and sore, her eyes stung as tears fought to come out.

She heaved and gasped and screamed quietly as she regretted every moment of it.

She let out a heavy sob.

--

Kagome walked beside him, her rightful place, she was his wife after all. She tried to hold his hand but he pulled it away, she tried to walk closer to him but he walked faster, she tried to talk to him but he wouldn't respond past a quiet, "feh".

She used to think those were cute.

Kagome thought about her encounter with him, she wondered what _being_ with him would be like. She wondered if she would become pregnant before someone else, maybe break some other girl's heart. She shook her head, he had no one else, she would be his only. Imagining it made her feel more loved, however twisted the love was.

--

She sat next to the fire and patched up her old skirt, "Why are you fixing that?"

"I don't know," she held it up in front of her, she had grown so much since being here the skirt barely covered her hind end, "It's sexy," she looked up at him and he scowled, she looked back down. She was going to do it….someday.

--

Kagome stared at him as he stared at her, "Where are you going, now?"

"Out, I need a walk."

"How long until you come back?"

"I don't know."

"Okay…I love you, Inuyasha."

"Good bye, Kagome."

She cringed as he walked away into the woods.

Sango scooted closer to her, "Why do you let him go to her."

"Because whether he sees her or not he will always love her more…it doesn't matter anymore." Sango looked at her friend with such amazing sorrow she felt compelled to thoroughly kick his ass.

--

Kagome waded into the chilly water before removing her wrap and quickly ducking down into the water glancing furtively making sure she wasn't being watched. Kagome sat in the water her body was slowly adjusting to and thought about him and_ him_. She hated this, being unhappy; she had always been the best at tuning a difficult situation into something the least bit enjoyable. She missed being able to do that. She really needed to be able to do that now, _especially_ now, now that she was nothing but a common human wife to him, he held her on nights when _she_ was unavailable, she felt used and dirty, she wanted something to make her feel whole again. Someone to turn her miserable life into something she wanted to wake up to.

--

Kagome was backed up against a tree, the rough bark scratched her skin and she moaned in pain as he thrust roughly into her pushing her harder against the bark, "I-Inuyasha! That-!"

He pushed into her again, she gasped for breath and dug her nails into his back he growled in pleasure and licked from her shoulder to her jaw, she squirmed and slithered, he thrust into her again and she yelped out. He stopped and looked at her, "that hurts," he froze and tightened his jaw, "oh."

She fell to the ground and he moved to sit next to her. They sat in silence then he stood and dressed before walking back to camp. She heard a rustle in the bushes and cringed.

--

They ran into him again that day, she stared at him from behind Inuyasha. He stared at her without hiding it; she blushed and turned her back to him. She felt the pulse of demonic energy when she did so, making her knees go weak, he was showing off. She smiled and sunk to the ground resting against the back of Inuyasha's legs and listened to the conversation.

"I need the women again."

"What for?"

"Rin has, begun to…develop and isn't taking it well, she has fallen ill."

Kagome snorted at how uncomfortable he sounded, she stood up quickly, "Sure, we'll do it!"

Sango quickly agreed and the group followed Sesshoumaru.

--

Kagome watched as Inuyasha left, she watched Sango and Miroku go to their room together and sighed, "I guess it's close to her _due date_." She turned around and gasped, "Oh!"

"No, she's had the pups long ago, in fact that's why you've been seeing less and less of your husband, he's falling more and more in love with her." Kagome cringed at his words and turned away from him, "Why are you saying this to me?"

"Honestly I have no idea whether it's because I feel compelled to break your spirit or because I want you to get the courage to…become full again." Kagome widened her eyes and felt her body go hot as he said those words, she felt almost violated. "I think," she started, "it's the latter."

He lowered his voice, "I agree."

She shivered and walked away, "Rin needs me."

"She is not that ill." She ignored him and kept walking.

--

"Inuyasha what would you do if you found that I had slept with another man, demon?"

He turned around and looked at her intensely, "I would kill him."

"What about me?"

He kept silent; he didn't think she would ever betray him, "Inuyasha, what if I slept with another man or demon and what if they got me pregnant?"

He didn't say anything she could tell she was angering him, she smiled, "Inuyasha what if, even though we were married, I was mated with some other demon?"

His jaw stiffened and he looked at her, "Why are you asking?"

"Just wondering how you would feel."

"I wouldn't like it."

"Oh, then, I guess…that's the way it'll be." He didn't notice the subtle hint of the future in her words.

Kagome stood and went inside at the beckoning of Rin. She sat by the girl's mat and looked at her petite frame, thinner than usual and very pale. "Rin, how are you feeling?"

"Weak."

"Oh. Anything else?"

The young girl shook her head and Kagome sighed, "There is nothing I can tell you to do besides get plenty of rest and eat hearty meals." Kagome stood up and walked out of the room. Kagome's thoughts were racing, flashing from one subject to another; she wasn't watching where she was going. "So, is _that_ the way it'll be?"

Kagome looked up slightly startled, "What?"

"I heard you and your beloved talking a few minutes ago, I'm sure you wouldn't let him kill me!"

Kagome blushed fiercely and cinched her eyebrows, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Yes you do. And I can guarantee that he'll know too…" he paused in his sentence to turn her face towards his, "soon enough." Kagome shivered and jerked her 

head out of his hands, "Sesshoumaru, stop teasing me, we both know neither of us has the guts to do this."

He froze and she walked away.

She was next to him, her place, she had become used to it, after a year of being his wife she had learned to play with his mind and hers, once she had even convinced herself that he had left Kikyou, well, that was last spring when she thought she was pregnant. But of course the pregnancy dream had to end when she realized that it just wouldn't happen with him, he had his perfect family somewhere else, no wonder her uterus didn't want to cooperate.

--

Kagome sat in a thick kimono shivering in the air wishing she was back home, with electric heating, warm, delicious food and her family, she never should have given them up for him. She wished she could take it back, _really_ take it back.

--

She sat in front of him and questioned her sanity, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm doing what neither of us has the guts to do….."


	3. Chapter 3

_And all the pain, and all the trouble, and all the loneliness, in the end was worth it, because it brought me to him and him to me. _

_**Sourire Faux**_

**Chapter Three**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

**Sourire Faux- In French, "Fake Smile"**

**--**

Kagome sat in the water and stared up at the sky, she felt happy; amazingly she wasn't so sad, she wasn't so empty, she was happy. It felt strange, to truthfully think something like that. She laughed aloud and clapped her hands in joy. She wondered sometimes if Inuyasha knew, she didn't want him to, she didn't want anyone to really, she wanted this and him to be hers only. She dunked her head under water before standing up and quickly running out of the water and wrapping herself in the soft cotton of her thin kimono. She dressed and dried her hair as much as possible before walking back to camp, she looked behind her, making sure he wasn't somewhere behind her. Following her just to watch her. She smiled to herself and continued on to camp.

--

Kagome sat next to Inuyasha and held his hand; it was an empty gesture as at the moment she was consumed with thoughts of another silver haired being. She felt his hand on her shoulder and she turned to him, "Hmm?"

"Are you feeling okay, lately you haven't seemed…okay?"

She paused for a moment and her thoughts stuttered, "No, I'm fine."

He shrugged and turned back to Miroku who was telling him about Sango's pregnancy and how he was positive they were having twin boys. Kagome shivered in anxiety and jealousy.

--

Kagome sat in his lap as he played with her hair and she played with his hand, they didn't speak much, there wasn't really a need to, she didn't feel like she had to fill awkward silence with awkward conversation, everything was comfortable with him and she couldn't be happier.

--

In a way she still loved him, he was her first for everything, she experienced a lot with him, they were married, and she couldn't help but to love him even though it hurt her.

--

Kagome curled up next to him and watched as Sango gently wiped her baby's face, she swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Inuyasha as he looked out into the woods. Jealousy overcame her and she closed her eyes to it all.

--

Kagome jumped as she heard her name, she looked up, "Yeah?"

"Why are you crying?"

"No reason."

He wrapped and arm around her as she stood, her back to him, "Pay no attention to him, and his life, and look at _me_."

She turned around to face him, "Okay."

--

Kagome sat on the edge of the well, no tears coming down her cheeks, no regretful thoughts in her mind; she sat there and waited for him.

--

His hand crept up her side and she arched her back, her head fell back and his lips fluttered up to her jaw, she let out a breathy moan as he moved within her, he kissed her cheek and she whispered his name.

--

Kagome sat next to Inuyasha and cringed as he looked at her through slit eyes, "Kagome, where were you?"

She looked away, "Nowhere."

He grunted and turned his back to her. She sighed and laid back, stiff and nervous she hoped the quick dip in the water was enough to at least lighten the smell.

--

Kagome stood at the edge of the water and quivered as he yelled at her, "I'm sorry."

"It's not fair, what's happened to you? You have become someone totally different, I can't _touch_ you without you cringing, or pulling away. You don't even look me in the eye anymore, what's going on with you?"

She turned her head to the side, "Look at me!"

She cringed at the volume of his voice, "Inuyasha stop, we all know what you do, when you leave, you don't need me so, just stop."

--

Kagome rolled over to face Inuyasha, he was asleep, and she watched him breathe and wondered what he was dreaming about. She lightly kissed him on the forehead before quickly standing and running off into the woods. She thought about it all as she ran, the slight guilt she had first felt for doing this had melted away and now it felt so right and good, it was exhilarating, she looked at her feet jutting out in front of her as she ran, she felt light headed, like she had passed out hours before. Kagome kept running until she felt a surge of power and running footsteps following after her she quickly grabbed a bow and arrow and spun around to face her tracker, "Oh, it's you, " she took a few steps forward before collapsing into his arms, "I missed you." He pressed his lips firmly to her forehead.

--

Kagome lay atop his bare chest and traced patterns on the smooth skin, "I love you."

He stilled but she didn't look up, "It's okay if you can't say it back…I know you do."

He sat up and held her small frame to him, "I do."

She exhaled and smiled.

--

Kagome watched as Inuyasha hurriedly gathered firewood and lit a fire before announcing that he was going for a short walk. Kagome nodded her head as he left, she stood, "Have a nice walk Inuyasha!"

She heard the gasp and the rustle of cloth as Sango jumped up and grabbed her arm, "We're going for a walk too." Kagome nodded her head.

Sango talked quietly until they were out of hearing range of the camp, "Kagome, what are you doing, why are you letting him do this?"

She took a moment to respond, "Well, honestly, I don't really care anymore, I mean, it's not like I'm not a little jealous that she can keep him happy and I can't, but you know what….it's doesn't really _matter_ anymore! You know, I'm even a little happy he's doing it!"

Sango let go of her friend's arm, "What is going on with you," she suddenly remembered all the recent nights she went out for walks on her own, "Really?"

Kagome stopped to turn around, "Nothing, why?"

Sango sighed, shook her head and walked up to Kagome, "No reason, just wondering."

Kagome shrugged and smiled, "Ok then."

--

Screams echoed through the woods and arrows gleamed as they flew through the air, Kagome stood in front of Inuyasha and Kikyou and their two children, as she beat off a demon. Inuyasha sat dumbfounded in the ground behind her, holding Kikyou who was holding two black haired boys both of whom possessed striking golden eyes. Kagome whipped around to look at Inuyasha as the demon's incinerated remains fell to the mossy forest floor. Inuyasha turned his head to the side in shame, "I don't care anymore, do what you want, besides…I have my own." She let her bow and arrows drop to the ground as she walked away.

--

A new awkwardness had grown between Inuyasha and Kagome, she only lived for the nights on which she could be held and cherished by _him_. She wrapped up in her old sleeping bag, pulling it up to cover her secret smile. She sat up and waited until she could feel him. She silently flew from the covers and sought out his unmistakable aura to tell her where he was. She rushed into his arms and buried herself in his clothes, reveling in his comforting scent; she stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, "Hello."

He buried his face in her neck and growled a deep greeting, she smiled and let him pick her up and carry her to a small pond a few miles from her camp. She undressed and slid into the water swimming to him. She sat in his lap as he placed butterfly kisses on her shoulders and followed them with a soft cloth. She laughed, "I haven't been bathed since I was a little girl," he nipped her ear, "but this is so much better." Kagome turned her head to face him, and kissed him gently on the lips, "I wish I had found you first."

--

She stood next to him and in front of him. She held his eyes like they were her life and he held her hand like he knew it all. He spoke and she cringed, "What are _you_ doing here?"

He spoke and she closed her eyes, "Is it my fault that we just happen to cross paths?"

He stuttered.

He smiled, "To the point though, I need your help."

He scoffed, "Yeah sure, is Rin sick again?"

"No, I need help to find someone."

She opened her eyes, "Oh?"

"Yes, I need you."

"Oh."

--

He was traveling with them now, she dreaded every minute of it, she hated him for doing this to her but that's how he was, he always pushed the limits. She fell, he caught her and his hands lingered a second too long, Inuyasha growled and Sesshoumaru laughed, "Jealous, little brother?"

Inuyasha blinked and his face went blank like he knew he was missing something. She needed help gathering firewood; he was the first to help her find some. If she ever struggled to lift or carry something he was the one who offered to help her. Kagome new Inuyasha must be starting to suspect, they all must be starting to suspect. She shuddered to think what might happen.

--

Kagome watched the forest line with half an eye as he thrust into her, "Sesshoumaru."

He growled into her ear and she clamped around him he thrust harder and she let out a yelp, and he smiled, "Kagome." She shuddered as he spoke her name. She threw her head back as he kissed her neck he stayed there and she moaned slowly. She ran her hands up his body feeling every inch of him, memorizing it…

--

Kagome nervously brushed her hair, mentally cursing Sesshoumaru. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, she turned around her hand still on her hair keeping it in place, covering her neck, "Damn you straight to hell."

"Only if you come with me, my love."

Her heart fluttered, she shook her head, "Look what you did to me," she pulled back her hair revealing a dark, bruise-like mark just below her ear, "see, you, you…thing!"

He smiled and trailed a finger across the darkened skin, "Well, I don't see anything wrong with it…in fact I rather like it," he bent down and lightly kissed it. She wriggled away from him, "Stop!"

He kissed her again, "You don't want to get caught?"

She placed her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to push him away, "No, I don't."

He smiled and continued to kiss her, only moving away when he heard footsteps heading their way.

"Inuyasha," Kagome looked at the silver hair and twitching ears, "Why are you here?"

His ears twitched slightly, "The question isn't why _I'm_ here it why _he's_ there!"

"Little brother I was merely requesting the aid of you miko to help me detect the aura of my…foe."

Inuyasha was quiet, he looked at Kagome who nodded, "Oh well, I don't want you alone around her anymore so next time you have questions come to me!"

"Of course, little brother, I can understand why you would be so protective of her. She is quite special."

Kagome watched him as he said this and looked away as he turned and left.

"Kagome?"

--

She and Sango sat in the steam laughing and carrying on like they had in the beginning, Kagome sighed as she remembered those days, and she really missed them. Sango leaned back and looked at Kagome, "It's strange to have Sesshoumaru traveling with us. After all those years of us battling him."

Kagome nodded her head in agreement, "Yes, it is."

Sango watched her friend's expressions, "Why have you changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Sango hesitated, "well, just it seems you went from being so sad and quiet to suddenly the happy bubbly person I remember you to be."

"Well, maybe I have started a new habit, one that is for the better."

"Oh."

--

Kagome laughed softly as he lightly trailed his fingers up and down her back, she kicked her legs up and smiled as he softly kissed between her shoulder blades, "I love you," he said and she smiled even more, "I love you to."

"Why do you love me?"

Kagome turned over on her back and looked at him, "I love you because you saved me from everything, and because you so…wonderfully love me back."

He kissed her then, softly and sweetly he let his hands rest on her hips and he loved her so wonderfully back.

--

Inuyasha sat next to Kagome as she folded washed clothing and stacked them according to whom they belonged. She carefully straightened corners and skillfully smoothed edges, he watched as her half lidded eyes measured everything with precision. He put a hand n her shoulder and her head whipped around to look at him, surprised by the gesture, "What are you doing?"

He quickly withdrew his hand, "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to casually touch my own wife."

She slit her eyes, "Well, what would Kikyou think about you casually touching your wife?"

Inuyasha's mouth clamped shut and she heard Sango gasp and Sesshoumaru laugh, she turned back to her work and ignored the immature hanyou.

--

Kagome stared him down, "There's no reason for this," she laughed as she spoke making the words slightly jumbled.

"Oh, but I do believe there is," a slow smile spread across his face and he leapt forward, Kagome screamed and laughed as she turned and ran, they had been doing this for about an hour a little game of cat and mouse, it was a lot more fun than she had thought it would be, the only problem was she didn't have any clothes on. She consciously hid behind a tree, breathing slowly; trying to listen to the soft founds the forest produced. She smiled as she slowly crept from behind the tree, she jumped as two arms closed around her, and "I'll always be able to find you."

She laughed and tilted her head up to him, "Of course you will, I'm yours after all."

--

Kagome walked next to Inuyasha and in front of Sesshoumaru, she willed Inuyasha to let go of her hand she wanted to drift behind and walk next to Sesshoumaru, but of course as much as he didn't love her, he was still so possessive. Kagome sighed deeply and looked over her shoulder at him; she smiled and turned her head back around. She wanted more than anything to be his and only his; she wanted him to be hers and only hers. She wished she could leave Inuyasha alone.

--

Kagome swallowed tears of joy and sadness as Sango held another black haired dark eyed baby, Miroku danced around, "A girl, a girl!!" He sounded like a mad man, yelling and laughing hysterically, Kagome wiped tears from her cheek, and she sat next to Sango, both of them exhausted after the birth. Inuyasha walked over and stood silently behind Kagome before walking away, Kagome let her head drop; she stood and walked quickly away. She stood behind a tree and tried to control the tears, it wasn't anyone's fault, no one's fault.

--


	4. Chapter 4

_It was what she longed for, what she wanted so much. And yet she was terrified, she had no idea what would happen…_

_**Sourire Faux**_

**Chapter Four**

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

**Sourire Faux- In French, "Fake Smile"**

**--**

Kagome laughed softly as the baby giggled and kicked splashing water onto her rough cotton kimono. She ticked the little girl's soft belly and smiled as a wide grin broke out on the baby's face along with raucous laughter. She heard Sango laugh, "Thank you so much for helping me bathe them, sometimes it's just so overwhelming, I never thought I would have three so close in age!"

Kagome sighed, "It's no problem, besides I love babies!"

She tickled the infant again and laughed.

--

Sesshoumaru sat around the fire along with the rest of the group, "I have located the position of my enemy, and I believe that a good base for our operations would be at least three miles from the Great Fuji shrine.

Everyone looked to Inuyasha who nodded his head in approval, Miroku spoke, "Tell us Sesshoumaru-sama, what kind of enemy is this?"

"It is said to be the reincarnation of a dangerous demon my father destroyed before his death."

"Oh."

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, she could tell he was fuming, so close to losing his restraint and tearing into his older brother, "Sesshoumaru?"

The group cringed as she said his name.

"Yes?"

"Uum, c-could you please tell us again where we are to be staying?"

"There is a shrine, forty miles south of Fuji Mountain, dedicated to the spirit who according to legend built the mountain as home to all repented spirits of this world. The reincarnation has chosen Fuji Mountain as it's…home."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru."

Everyone looked at the great demon expecting to hear an angry correction to Kagome's use of his name after she had twice left off the oh-so important "sama".

The camp was silent until he stood and walked off alone.

Miroku stood and began to applaud, "Lady Kagome, I don't know what you just did but it was just…amazing," he knelt down before her, "you must teach me this magic." Sango rolled her eyes and slapped him across the head.

--

Kagome sat back against the smooth bark of an old tree; she sighed and closed her eyes as a soft breeze blew through the forest, creating a slow melody. She stretched out her legs and watched the sun come down in shifting rays of light through extended branches. Her hair twisted around itself and curled closer to her face, she sighed again and brushed it away. She ran her hand across the ground, every inch covered with soft grass; she listened to the twittering of birds and the scratching of a squirrel as it climbed the trunk of the ancient tree. Her heartbeat slowed and her breathing deepened, she opened her eyes, sunlight half blinded her as she looked up at him standing before her, "Hello."

--

She combed his hair with her fingers his head rested on her chest, slowly rising and falling with every breath she took. She gently ran the tips of her fingers across his scalp, he closed his eyes and growled in pleasure, she smiled, glad she could make him happy. He raised his arm and captured her hands, bringing them in front of him so they encircled his body, he brought each hand to his lips and kissed each individual finger, he then let her hands drop where she began to run her fingers slowly up and down his bare chest. He let his eyelids drop, as hers had already been closed for quite some time, the breeze flowing through the trees caressed them both sweetly and lulled them to sleep.

--

She felt a hand on her shoulder gently shaking her and heard a deep voice calling her name, her eyes fluttered open and she looked around at her dim surroundings, she jumped up startled at this, she looked wide eyed at him, "We fell asleep, hurry and dress."

She nodded and wordlessly stood to pull on her clothes and carelessly tie her robe. They both rushed to get to the camp before the other's noticed how long they both had been gone, Sesshoumaru picked up Kagome and dropped her off at a nearby pond, "Bathe then come back, but do it quickly. When you return, tell them you fell asleep in the water," Kagome nodded and undressed, quickly getting into the water.

--

Kagome returned to the camp, her hair damp and eyes half closed, her clothes hung haphazardly from her body and she yawned loudly. Sango and Inuyasha both rushed to her side, Sango spoke first, "Where have you been, you said you were leaving to take a bath four hours ago!"

Kagome laughed casually, "Sango, don't worry, I just fell asleep!"

Inuyasha moved to stand in front of the dripping girl, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay," she watched silver hair bouncing behind him as he walked away.

No one noticed the secret look Kagome and Sesshoumaru shared as Inuyasha walked away.

--

Kagome and Sango rode atop Kirara as they headed to the Great Fuji shrine, Inuyasha and Miroku ran on foot and Sesshoumaru had long since gone ahead of the group and was probably already at their destined location. Kagome had been questioned about why she was spending so little time with Inuyasha by both Sango and Miroku and it was no longer as strange a thing to see Inuyasha without the dark haired miko by his side as it once was. Kagome and Sango had become so much closer as a result of her avoiding and ignoring Inuyasha that they did almost everything together, Kagome was so thankful to have a best friend again.

--

Kagome sat on a low rise wall, looking out towards the snow capped mountain, she sighed and let her head fall onto the fur covered shoulder of the body next to hers, "It's pretty."

"Hn."

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, "The air is so fresh here, in my time, it was so…dense and flat and…metallic, I guess."

His nose wrinkled, "Hnn."

Her fingers walked up his arm, and she played with the ends of his hair, "Have you ever thought about cutting your hair?"

He jerked away and looked at her out of the corner of his eye, "No, nor do I plan to."

She smiled and put her head back on his shoulder, "Sesshoumaru, can I tell you something, and you promise you won't get mad at me for it?"

He nodded and she breathed deeply, "For a long time, even after we had begun _this_, I had considered finding Kikyou and begging her to reopen the well," she felt him stiffen and his aura flare, "but it wasn't 

until the day when you told me you loved me back that I decided to stay here," she paused and looked up at him, his eyes burned into hers and she blushed, "I just thought you should know that."

"Hn."

--

Kagome watched the flash of white above her as Sesshoumaru leapt from tree to tree a mile or so ahead of them, she once again rode atop Kirara along with Sango, her eyes were wide as she hadn't realized how fast he really was. She closed her eyes and rested her head on Sango's back, lulled to sleep by the breathing of the two boys strapped to her own back.

--

Kagome lay back in his arms, "Inuyasha is starting to suspect something."

He brushed the back of his hand against her thigh, "How do you know?"

"He's asking me, questions. Every now and then he'll back me up against a tree and bury his nose in my neck; he'll stay there until I push him away, ten he'll look at me like he just _knows_ something is going on."

"Hn."

Kagome looked up at him, he was looking at her, "I can't get caught Sesshoumaru."

"Hn."

"I know there's nothing to be done about it, if he finds out, he finds out, but…I'm afraid what will happen."

He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head while his eyes scanned their surroundings, "Don't worry, love."

--

Kagome sat next to Inuyasha, she felt abandoned as he slowly moved her hair away from her face, she closed her eyes, "Kagome, you're so beautiful, I love you."

She slowly turned her head to look at him, "Inuyasha," guilt and pain soaked her voice and she breathed deeply, "Inuyasha, you don't love me, you never truly did. You never let yourself go, you always had one foot on the ground, waiting for Kikyou…I'm not angry about that, it's not your fault that you loved her more than me." Kagome stopped to breath, a painful lump had formed in her throat and she looked away from her husband, "But, Inuyasha, why would you keep me, marry me and love me so…conditionally?"

Inuyasha withdrew his hand and looked at her, an expression of shock on his face, he flinched as Kagome stood and walked away from the group.

--

Kagome let her arrow go and watched as it glided swiftly trough the air before piercing the belly of one of three demons who had attacked their camp, the gurgling shriek of it stole the attention of the other two allowing Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru to attack and finish them. She watched as Sesshoumaru took a step towards before rethinking the action. Inuyasha ran forward and caught her just as her knees gave out; she watched the look of pain on Sesshoumaru's face and wondered if it was that bad.

"Kagome, Kagome," she felt a hand on her face and looked up to the possessor, "Kagome, are you okay?"

"Inuyasha," and she remembered why she had fallen in love with him, he had always rescued her, or at least tried, "Inuyasha…no," she closed her eyes and swallowed the tears ready to release.

--

Kagome wanted more than anything to lay her head on Sesshoumaru's lap and relax as he whispered silly little words of love to her, but she was stuck, confined, her keeper sat dutifully next to her while she remained silent and still, waiting until she could be deemed well enough to be on her own. She let her eyes wander, resting every now and then on rough red fabric, or alert, moving eyes. Even soft white hair. She despised that he was doing this, she knew, at this moment he would rather be by _her_ side. She 

looked at the impatience showing in every movement, every sigh, and every particle of his being. And _she_ felt guilty!

--

Kagome leaned back and breathed deeply, his clothing smelled so fresh and yet old at the same time, it was wonderful, her heartbeat sped up as his finger laced through hers, she felt silly whenever he touched her or said her name or looked. She felt like he was some high school crush. She laughed softly to herself and said is name quietly, "You know, I think I really do love you."

She heard a little growl rumbling in the back of his throat she smiled looked up to him and smiled, "Is that okay with you?"

He bent his head down and nuzzled her neck, "Of course my dear."

She smiled and turned around, one leg on each side of him, she tilted her slightly and let him kiss her sweetly, and he placed one hand on either of her face and deepened the kiss.

Kagome loved him, she loved him a lot, so she wanted to be with him, and she didn't want t hide it and she didn't want to be with Inuyasha anymore, and she didn't want to lie or cheat anymore, she, just…loved him.

Kagome ran a soft hand down his chest; his deep voice softly said her name and her body burned in desire, she grabbed the sleeve of his kimono and pulled at it, she let her head fall back into his hands as he ravished her smooth neck, her breathing quickening and her heartbeat become faster and faster,

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb_

Hepulled the tie loose exposing her breasts and taught nipples, his head bent to take a pink bud in his mouth, she wrapped her hand in his hair, and she let loose a breathy moan. Her palms tingled and heat grew in her body, she felt her blood racing as her heart continued to beat so quickly.

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb_

Her mouth grew dry and she placed fluttery, jittery kisses all over his body, he let his hands float over the soft white skin she so comfortably gave him, he grabbed her hand once more interlacing the fingers he leaned down to kiss her parted lips, their tongues danced and he leaned into her. He pulled away and let his lips trail across her flushed face and down her body. His knee bent between her legs and her body arched towards him. Her heart ached and felt so good at the same time.

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb_ _badumb badumb_

Kagome's body felt on fire and she gritted her teeth and moaned every time his fingers touched her, every time his lips moved against hers, every time their bodies intertwined, she closed her eyes and said his name.

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb_

She felt him moving within her and she reveled in his rolling growls, her mouth opened and she whimpered as she felt the pressure mounting, she placed a shaky hand on his cheek and she let his name fly from her lips as their hips met, she climaxed as he came, and quickly rolled over, pulling her atop him, she rested her head on his broad chest and sighed.

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb_

"I love you."

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb_

"Sesshoumaru."

_Badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb badumb _

"Kagome?"

_Badumb _


End file.
